Blues for Ebenezer
Copyright 1994 Rev. Wyrdsli
On January 7,1994 I lost my best friend. 
He was a four-year old African Grey Timneh. He died of 
Pneumonia because of the drafts in my apartment. 
I dedicate this in loving memory of him. 
CONTENTS

SOCIAL RELEVANCE

Sweet child, I know you need love like
Anyone else.
But love is not just frozen food
You can't just store it in a freezer
And use it when you want
It comes like moldy olive oil
Slimy, smelly and full of diseases
But the important thing is.....
That I care for you as much as I do
And if my car doesn't start right away
I won't force you to walk
Because I feel as I am sure many
left-handed people do that
life is so often so unfair.
And bank tellers will only laugh
The first time I ever saw you
I thought you were a girl
Now, I see a young woman
And as long as we are, we shall be

SPILLING FROM THE BOTTLE

Here I sit thinking slowly
Has my life been for only
leaving hearts unsatisfied?
If this is true I should have died

For to tease and not to serve
The empty gnaw is what you deserve
To hint around and not fill the void
Call yourself a little boy

And so I drink, guzzling blindly
My mind spins on running idly
Give me just another sip
What spills from the bottle 
	drips and drips

Now I slump no longer feeling
The shock of life has left me reeling
This liquid grain is not as kind
But it's the softest thing that 
	I could find

(Untitled)

Looking out just past the sun
Remembering all that I have done
What exactly did she say
I must remember this today

Drooping eyes and tired mind
fall asleep at any time
Where can I find for sure
Can I know that she is pure?

Familiar shapes twist away
Do I have something to say?
Or would it matter anyway
I must remember this today

BONG

Life is not always a pleasure
We all have days that bring us down
My pain I cannot measure
For grief is all around

When I've had enough bad news
To keep me up all nightlong
I turn to the comfort herb
I hit offa that bong

I put the reefer in the bowl
That's where it belongs
I lite the weed and suck water
I'm hitting on that bong

I don't care what you say
How can you say it's wrong
I'm passing the time 'til I die
By getting high with my bong

Women leave me lonely
Like a heart without a song
Women leave me lonely
Alone with my bong

EARLY MOURNING

May my life drain out of me
I have lost all I truly need
She was my lovely full bloom love
Now she's gone - it's time to bleed

May my life drain out of me
There is no more need to be
She was my shining sparkling gem
Now she's flattened on the street

May my life end here and now
I feel murder's agony
My lovely glowing Rose
Killed by the bourgeoisie

RHAPSODY FOR TWO

Give to me your lonely times
Give to me your sorrow
Surrender to my arms
Give to me tomorrow

I will love you with my darkness
Consume you with my light
I will love you all the evening
And hold you til the dawn

I will tell you all my dreams
And read to you my poems
I will give you my soul
And love no other woman

I will fill your empty spaces
Excite you with my strength
I will pick you up and change you
You will never be the same

I will know your hidden places
I will have them for my own
I will pick the weeds from your garden
And reap the seeds I sow

So scream to me with volume
Your every tiny syllable
And I will give you everything
With my heart and soul distillable

So tell to me your point of view
You know I always love to hear you talk
In sweet soft sounds as musical
As a Rhapsody for Two

HESTER PRYNE

Here I am again, alone as it seems
But the night, and early day, 
in their own psychotic ways
Have left me with a head of wicked dreams

'Tis the night for prom in your home town
My evil ways travel everywhere
and for just a glimpse of her scarlet hair
I'll fill the air with sound

But wait I see the hordes of those
to prom that go, and all is not well
A score of girls have lied both ways
to have their macho men to show

They act as if they own their men 
And keep them on a leash
Won't they be caught when they reach 
     the point of no return

But wait I see the faces of the dancers
I wonder if that woman-child, 
knows all the while 
if who she has is man or juvenile

Dance, fair maidens, dance,
to the music of your choice.
But remember now as you rejoice,
my call for Hester Pryne.

I do not ask for purity
for that's a teen-aged dream
If I can't expect her to be serene
I only ask sincerity

But my Hester is another woman
I do not see her in this hall
and all in all none hear my call
So I shall be a roamin'

Hester! Hester! Hester?
My enigmatic love won't answer
Hester! Hester! Hester?
Yet I know she lives and I must find her

SHE OBSESSES ME

Darkened shades of whispered fears
Forgotten thoughts of burning tears
     And still, she obsesses me

Sorrow brings as sorrow feels
Burning dreams, forgotten meals
     Always, she obsesses me

Images of loving eyes and
Memories of truthful lies
     And still, she obsesses me

Drifting thought of loveliness
Circle round my loneliness
     Painfully, she obsesses me

Scornful words spoken as a threat
From the lips that suck cigarettes
     Sorrow, she obsesses me

VISIONS OF ISIS

The evening Sun is cascading down, 
     see me on my way.
I'm looking for Nirvana, 
     at both ends of the day
The midnight moon is soothing, 
     and singing on the wind
I'm running everyday now, 
     my face is getting thin.

Visions of Eternity, 
     like dreams of lives I've died
Flash by in the winds of forever 
     and a crowd of feelings cried
My Ego was already ancient 
     when the Earth was but a seed
Hourus answers quickly 
	his sacred mother's need

My spirit cries in pain 
     for it's trapped in this earthen cell
Ecstasy is to drowned myself 
	and soar in the air again

Through tiny flashing portholes, 
     I glimpse the shadows of time
Can I see the answers, 
can the truth be mine?

The morning sun is burning, 
     my search is at an end
If I find no god to save me, 
     I'll be my only friend

MOOD ECLIPSE

And the virgin said to me
"Speak softly when we meet.
I must have deep faith in you,
our love must be pure."
And I could see her shadows
     but I did not have a cure

And my lover said to me
"I want you to myself,
I want you to myself" she said,
betraying me all the same.
"You brought it on yourself,." She said
Leaving me in pain

And the Goddess said to me
"My rituals are acts of love,
My vision is eternal,
my love is infinite."
I made love to her last night
I will again tonight.

THE BALLAD OF ST. TAMERA

Things have been and not all kind
This I know too well
But fear and hate won't silence me
To tell the truth I feel compelled

Tamera was a fine young lass
With eyes of mystic green
She sought the help of Lord Scorpio
To learn of the world unseen

Charming but corruptible
A Magical magnifico
The leader of a Templar Lodge
This was Lord Scorpio

So Tamera was let inside
And taken as a concubine
He took her to the temple of his Knights
And placed her on the shrine

And Tamera yearned so much to learn
But in the end she burned 
for the sins of Scorpio

The problem was Lord Scorpio
Was consort to the Evil Queen Bea
The Evil Queen saw in Tamera
A threat to her regime

Psychotic and irrational
Were the virtures of the old Queen Bea
A class A-1 Psychic Vampire
A queen of hypocrocy

So Queen Bea reared back her horns
Raised an army of bourgeois
The ruckus from this evil horde
Sent Tamera to her Gesethemene

So where you ask was Lord Scorpio
Leader of the Templar Lodge
He turned his back of Tamera
Like a spineless Demagogue

And Tamera yearned so much to learn
But in the end she burned
For the sins of Scorpio

Yet Magically did Tamera
Escape the queen and the Templar lodge
She packed her cat and books and things
And got the hell out of Dodge

Things have been and not all kind
This I've shown quite well
If you want to know the truth
You got to find it for yourself

REFLECTIONS OF A SHATTERED SOUL

I walk along in these streets of fire
Living nightshade dreams of lust without desire
     lust without desire
I walk along in these shadows of pain
Knowing life won't ever be the same
     I'll never be the same
Then I see the dying eyes that answer me 
from the mirror,
     In horror I behold
Reflections of a shattered soul

I stomp along like Man o' War.
I survive but I don't know what for.
     I don't know what for
I talk to shadows alive with cries
Accusing me of crimes I have conspired
Then I hear the crying child that calls to me 
from within
     In horror I behold,
Reflections of a shattered soul

I talk along all night sometimes
Hoping to remember sweeter rhymes,
     I remember better times
I march a line in this valley of fear
Gunshots and funerals are distantly near
     ever distantly near
Then I hear the Sirens cry
I want to climb through the mirror
     and be a body without a soul

I walk alone in these streets of fire
Singing nightshade songs of 
	lust without desire
Then I hear the wailing moan of the 
virgin torn,
     In horror I behold
Reflection of a shattered soul

THANK YOU JESUS

     I was doing the laundry thing
and thirst overcame me
So I shuffled to the Pepsi machine
     "free hypo in winning can"
The Orange crush looked good.
But the machine kept returning my money
     "Fuck it." I thought beginning to 
contemplate the drugstore
Just for fun, I hit the Orange crush button
The can dropped
"Thank you, Jesus!"
Jesus can do much, but he helps those that
help themselves.

KILL YOUR HEART

Oh the daily pain of unrequited love
     insufferable of consistency
The answer is simple: Kill your heart.

Listlessness in loneliness
Hours moan as they crawl alone
And I just want to break something
     Hurt someone - maybe like she hurt me.
But the answer is simple: Kill your heart.

The heart is such a squishy thing
But it beats in time that it defines
Never listening to reason
But sometimes artful in its treachery
Yet treachery is still treachery
The answer is obvious! Kill your heart

I have cried and slept alone
But I have lain with great beast of women
Always in honor of the Goddess
And I have been fiercely loved
But now is the time for euthanasia
The answer is painful: Kill your heart.

JENNIFER

My friend told me he'd seen you there earlier.
     "That's cool," I said. "But if she wants to see me, 
she knows where to find me."
     And then I saw you, eyes drenched in anguish. 
My heart leapt for you, alabaster complexion, fragile beauty in torment.
I longed to help, in my own way.
So I walked up to you, leaned against the pole you leaned on.
     I talked and you ran
You tried to ditch me by going out the back
     Or so you'd like it to look.
Never let it be said that Wyrdsli can't knock back a beer if there's 
a pretty face involved.
     But a pretty face etched with a trail of tears 
bears even a little more effort. 
     I ran around the outside of the bar to head you off at the pass,
     timed myself to catch you on the other side and not puke. I waited,
     I watched,
using my best strategic skills to catch you, 
I found you on the inside of the back door.
     I guess you knew what I'd do.
You saw me and turned away. I followed you to the bar itself.
     I tried to get you to talk.
     "Why won't you talk to me?"
     "What have I ever done to you?"

     No answer. Only tears.
Your turned away from the bar and I took your crying frame to my embrace.
     And for one moment I believed I could hold you forever 
and the world would cease to exist outside our Universe.
     But you broke away and pushed me away
     I chased you by rumor.
And then I saw you with him, whoever he was.
     I watch you from a balcony, sex being had behind me, 
and watched and wondered
     And then I knew- She's beautiful but crazy, 
she's beautiful but crazy. 
	She's beautiful but crazy.

BROKEN TOY

You found me like a broken toy
failing to function as designed
Were you fascinated by my flaking paint
     or my worn and broken springs?

I did it myself you know
Failure is all I really understand
Other toys are damaged by children
I simply wound myself up too tight
     and never let myself relax

So you came along and picked me up
You had compassion for me
Like the cat you got from 
	the humane society
But pity is a poor basis for anything
     of substance

And I function little better now 
	than I did then
It only seems worse because 
	I am more aware
I see what I do only too well
But perhaps you must destroy the village 
     to save the village
That's always been my policy

WHY, OLD MAN

Five Points
Center of Communications' confusion
Vortex of Madness
Old man, bloodshot eyes, lives in his clothes.
He's strutting up and down talkin' about Jesus 
to victims waiting for the bus
Jesus this, God that
If you've heard one crack-pot,
you've heard them all.

And I tell him, "Fuck Jesus!"
Jesus was a loser and he ain't done 
	squat for me.

For offended am I at proselytizing posers
     as if all this Jesus talk raises his standing 
in the world that Jesus  himself abandoned. 
	Fuck your Jesus.
There was no such man and what if there were? Why didn't he write? 
They say he could read and write.
If Moses can write the OLd Testimant
Loa Tzu the Tao Te ching,
Muhammed the Koran and, 
Joseph Smith the Book of Morman,
Why did Jesus leave it to a bunch of two-bit hacks to tell his story
for him years after the fact? Those second string 
sorry assed-exscuses for disciples couldn't
even get their story straight. 
Isn't it strange that a man of learning with intense spiritual
insights who preached to the multictudes unnumbered never wrote?
	He is in fact, by this, unique among the major Religious figures.
And the Pope wants to keep the Dead Sea Scrolls under life destroying wraps.
     Why is that?
Just for argument sake, let's say the Gospell are for the most part accurate: 
His suicide is selfish & cowerdice. If he truly loved his
people, he should've lived for them, not die for them.
     On wonders if David Koresh wasn't on the money claiming to be Jesus Christ, 
he fits the pattern. Perhaps years from now, we'll hear a different version of his
story, justify everything because he was the one.
	And the red-eyed Street Preacher is rebuking me as Satan.
     And I say:
Why Old man, do you cling to the slave religion? 
Maybe, if you sobered up and really thought it out, 
you'd realize it was Christians that put your ancesters in chains.

OH MAN, HOW GREAT THOU ART

Oh Man, Oh man
How great thou art
Thou that achieve the all important
Regardless of the carnage thereof
Thou that raped the Earth
Without fear or conscious
Thou that tortures and kills life
In public and private
Both blatant and subtle
That that kills plankton with oil spill 
     and fish with chemical waste
Thou that poisons the air all life breathes
Thou that make waste a hip form of art
Thou that enslaves so-called lessor Creatures
     How great thou art
Thou that hast the means to destroy the Earth
Thou that makes war on your brother
And creates a double standard of Murder
Thou that enslaves thine own kind
Without fear or conscience
     How great thou art

THE BATTLEFIELDS OF ART

I came, I saw, I address the night
On haunted avenues
We entertain a fickle muse
     with blood and sweat and years
Welcome to the tragic zone
And the Battlefields of Art

Now here  am I like a Poet-Priest
Attending to the mysteries
We sing for love and cry for pain
caressing private histories
     we cut the price tags from our souls
In the Battlefields of Art

With ink stains red I kiss the pen
that bleeds each crying time
Come beat the drum and sing the song
With strange discordant rhythms
     we dance to a different slumber
In the Battlefield of Art

I pricked my skin with golden blades
So my blue blood won't congeal
Your attention span lifts like a fog
to reveal the trail of tears
     tread softly through the land mines
of the Battlefields of Art

And wake to the sun without remorse 
of your weariness or pain
There is no promise that insistence
will make things any different
     You make the call, ride or fall
In the Battlefields of Art

If love unknown to weeping lips
comes worship as the grail
Anticipation creates expectation
Reality falls short
     choose advances carefully
In the Battlefields of Art

And casualties are not unknown
but never of the pure of heart
Sacrifice inevitable to make the battle cry
     But fear is always your greatest enemy
In the Battlefields of Art

THE GIRL THAT LOVES GOLD

Pederastic love affair
A young girl with stars in her eyes, 
a delicate dagger dangles in her fingers. 
She gazes on moon-lit gutters beautiful at night 
- and dreams of sliding mangled and torn biits of her enemies' bodies in them 
Our love is: illicit in intention,
morally questionable,
Intellectually fable-like; Dangerous by definition
I cannot sleep in her bed without righteousness of guilt
I cannot look at her face and forget how she pried me away from my now ex-wife
I won't be a trophy on her bookshelf
While it's true that the girl with Golden hair is every red-blooded man's dream.
I wonder if it's right to reward you for my bath of green and purple envy. 
I was a fool to believe in you
     Linda was never a wicked witch you had to save me from, 
or whatever fantasy you decided to act on.
     You are not a better person than her,
and she probably loves me more. You said it yourself when you said 
she was crazy to take me back when you wouldn't.
     Now all I want to do is tell her how sorry I am.
     Girl who loves gold, do you know what self-hatred looks like? 
If I told you I could roll in broken glass
and have salted lemon juice poured on me, 
that I would hardly think twice about it after the scars your games have put on my heart.
     But someday, yes, someday you will be on the other side of your own game.
     I would love to see your reaction then

EBENEZER

Delicate fighter, feathered warrior
The Terrible Timneh of Little Five points
You were so much like me
     Growling at strangers
     Hiding in dark places
     Ingeniously mischievous
A fighter to the end
     You were preening when I saw you last draw breath
I can't believe you're gone, Ebenezer

Oh little friend, my little friend
Who was always there to comfort me
To sit upon my shoulder and 
	give me tender kisses
I will always love you, Ebenezer

I left you home while I went to work
     went to drink and socialize
And you were always home to greet me
Oh Ebenezer, peace to your soul

I think I can hear you say
     "It's okay, we both needed to be free
But you saw me through so much
I will always love you Ebenezer

And I can't forget the time you got away
And we got each other back
You are in a better place now
And always in my heart, Ebenezer

Now I can't stand the emptiness of the silence 
that stuns me Like sonic booms
At least I know you still loved me, and I you
It's hard to say good-bye Ebenezer

Oh, my bad tempered, unfriendly,
	peanut-breathed turkey vulture
No more will I clean up your droppings
or scold you for chewing my books and papers
God I miss you, Ebenezer

LOSS

Can you still see how high the sky is?
Can you hear the winter wind?
Can you hear the children crying?
Do you know that Bosnia is dying?
     Yeltson lost his mother
     Clinton lost his mother
     I lost Ebenezer
     Dave lost a dog
     Sema lost a kitten
     loss loss loss loss
Joseph Campbell leaned in his chair
     his breathing labored
and said "The answer is this:
I will participate in this great Opera" 
Perderabo

REMEMBER THIS

Remember this: forget the rest
Curse the day- encourage the light
Explain the difference - confuse unity
Grapple with emotion, 
	dance with intellectualism
Scream to your neighbors, 
whisper to the enemy
Love the sinner, hate the sin
     I am alarmed at serenity
Eat gold- shit garbage
Hide from today, look for yesterday
Avoid reality, map fantasy
Live in the past, Die today

EVERY TIME I LOOK AT YOU

Every time I look at you
A chill goes down my spine
You are only too beautiful
Can you remember what I said?

Everyday I wake in cold sweats
Angel you are, you damn me
Yet I know I have chosen this
Can't I get it right?

Elegance Immortal
Alabaster Iguana
You broke my heart
Can I sleep with you again

Everytime I think of you
A knife stabs me in the heart
You know too well how to hurt me
Could you smile for me again?

INITIATION

Scraping on the sidewalk dragging my ass
If this is initiation, I must be a master
It hurts to take each next step, 
     but I've lived on nothing before
I have suffered an eternity

Sipping on coffee, shops finally open
My body's alive but my spirit is broken
It's 8:05 a.m. in the dark night of the soul,
     but has it not ever been thus?
I have endured endless torture

I am surrounded by children seeking my guidance
I am exalted but battered by Prudence
The light at the end of the Tunnel looks like the burning bush,
     what does he want now?
I have performed enough miracles

Intimate of ambition, excelling in Obscurity
Bedazzled by recognition for 
	the wrong things
My heart walks with a limp and my libido
     cruises in Mona Lisa Overdrive
I have suffered an eternity

THE MESSIAH IS MY SISTER

Your absence from my life
makes me yearn that much more
I hardly lack for company
But I think of you still
Still and soft lying in my arms
I adore the depth of your stillness

     (part two)
I saw you again last night
tragically the not so old feelings arose again
     knowing they were about to sink for the last time
And we both know why

I wanted to say "I love you"
But of course that would be inappropriate
Civilization has it good points of course
     until the well built house leave you in the cold
I am ancient in the presence of your inner beauty

So I was of course only too glad to walk with you
     Even though I don't dare tell you again how I feel
I didn't mind hearing you talk about your friend, my ex-wife
I savor the sound of your voice
This villain must love you from afar

And your words of comfort are as soothing
     as your eyes are clear and bright
Your brief hug was as heart-warming 
     as your touch is soft and gentle
And when I told you I loved you before
     (why does it seem so long ago?)
It wasn't just pillow talk
But this villain must evermore love you from afar.

BLOODY SACRIFICE

Realization of a wicked world
Pour your blood in the corporate cup
Think not that your wounds heal one day
The corporates are hungry and never give up

Their cruelty crystallizes as a 
	shining gem of hate
Appearances can be deceiving as the vultures pick your eyes
Living just to die and feed the evil gods
Your life crawls on and time always flies

Evil is a virtue and souls a commodity
Money flows like blood in the corporate vein
Close your eyes and dream of summer in a grassy field
And then awake to the cesspool gone insane

You sweat and slave for those that look down on you
Labor your Demeanor for an ounce of peace
Are you waiting for a better day?
Or the fragile flesh's final release?

ILLUSIONS

Illusions are the visions of a 
	perfect life I see
Frustration is the realization
My mind has gone too far
Inconclusive is the mission
Beautiful, spectacular War

Destitute and desolation
as real as hard cement
Restitution Institution
Hard pressed to comment

Running like Rats
Through a maze called existence
A testimate of nothing
But stubborn persistence

Suspended in a New Orleans Voodoo Jar
Next to a down scale model of a Guillotine
Despite my admiration for tiny lean machine
It only chops nicotine in dreams.

JAMAICA

Take me back to Jamaica where 
	I've never been
I long for the beach and the jungles 
	I've never laid eyes on
Take me to paradise, an Eden with reefer
The feel of the waves runs deep in my faith
 
Shun away the dirt and noise of the city
Where the angry young artist signs his name in spraypaint
I am a praying jackal with penises and ears
Look while I listen and see what I translate

Close your eyes to the noise that 
	burns on all sides
Climb on my Iron horse and travel
The concrete jungle will back away
And peace will follow us all the 
	rest of our hours

LITTLE WAIF

Where goest thou oh little waif?
     I have wondered of you.
where do you hide when the sun goes down
Where do you spend the night?

Where sleepeth thou oh little waif?
And who sleeps with you?
I have to confess I find you attractive
I do not want to hurt you

Oh on the contrary little waif
I want to hold you tight
I want to hold you closely
     I want to hold you.

Where goest thou little waif?
Can I take you home with me?

GALLERY OF ANGST

Provoke the  sleeping Tiger children
Forget about the madman screaming in your house
     he's an insurance salesman

Relative to subject matter, gang afla gay
Dysfunctional child rhetoric
Rewrite history to your best advantage
"Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead"

Just forget your foolish pride
     Stroll on down
     It's miller time
     Why ask why
          Just do it
Whatever happened to integrity?
I can't remember what I was taught
I was taught to never fight
     even for myself
But I must avoid self absorbsion

Breaks, they can be flashes of insight
     or a gallery of Angst
And what if life does suck?
What do you replace it with?

STILL RINGING

Destiny, the foreground is invisible
And I will wait an eternity for the past
Eyes still scream at me in memories
But I must avoid self absorbsion

Finality beacons as the faceless mother
that must now do her work
Terror and nothingness are inseparable
All is calm in desolation

Sorrow is the initiator of change
     as Peace has been the result of War
Inaction is the release of indecision
Actuality is a concept unknown

Pity is my lover as horror is my child
Insanity is my only defense
Hate is the precious gift I give myself
Good manners are a thing of beauty

Limitless is the isolation 
     and transient is the purpose
I've seen it all and my ears are still ringing

FEARLESS IN A SEA OF PAIN

Fearless in a sea of pain
Left alone to cry
Lie to me beautiful
Our time is long over
     don't ask me to explain

Angry at the corporate giant
mildly amused at my suffering
The police are like god only because of their 
indifference to human suffering
Job at least had compensation

Listless in the face of the morning sun
Trying to remember my dreams
It seems there was something important
And I careen into depression
     what was it I heard?

Trace memories of missed chances
Fragment dreams of lost romances
     present moments enticing
     every comment slicing
The conversation is not to my liking
So I drift to pleasant tactile memories
     sensations singing lullabies
Relieving me of today and flush away the moment

The everlasting legacy of a moment I remember warm me like the 
	summer solstice in December
Remember, remember the moment for the memory of a better time
     carries me through the dross of this 
pain stripped earth

AFTER THE GOLDEN DAY

Life is long and hard as ice
Until it melts away
And the beggar only takes the chance 
After the golden day

Tears and fears of years ago
Haunt me to this day
Angry words, tongue like swords
Always cut both ways

My lover was with child
I poked it when we made love
She shuddered from deep stimulation
     and writhed insane

Blood Dripped from the shattered glass
     of a broken window
Night cried winter tears
The Reaper weeps not for children
But releases them from fear

Calmly and serenely I watch chaos
And imagine my madness enraged
And imagined are the earthly foes
     I make of these poor fools

The truth may be they are instruments
     of the everlasting mind
That confused us with pleasure
And stabs us from behind

But I myself lean outside in hopes
I'll slip outside reality 
The precise possibility
I won't return again

SIPPING FROM THE CUP

Here I sit numbly wondering
How I suffer while I'm slumbering
     In this dream that finds no end
     This nightmare that won't resend
In which I watch myself always blundering

In anguished moments that break my heart
Become the hours that tear my heart apart
     I commit the crimes that cause me pain
     Yet I commit them again and again
Waiting for my new life to start

But the life is told on the evening news
Where smiles allege who killed who
     The hours are strung into painful days
     My power has fallen by the way
I attempt to divine how to start anew

So this Liquid Bean sipping I continue
I return again to my cherished venue
     This painted garage where I come
     And speak to faces wherever from
And sip again the caffeine brew

I'LL BE GRATEFUL WHEN THEY'RE DEAD

It's starting already
Filthy forgotten Philosophers
Looking for a fix
Got a joint?
Got any Beer?
Got any spare change?

I'll be Grateful when they're Dead
Psychedelic savages
Children of the great Unwashed
giggle at a private joke
It's a deadhead thing, you wouldn't understand

They dress themselves in articles
Primitive but shallow.
Is it not a marvel how they travel
Wherever their gods go?

And I have to wonder who they think they are
Asking for the world on a tie-dyed banner.
But they are the children of the great unwashed
And I'll be grateful when they're dead.

OFTTIMES

Ofttimes I can sense you feeling yourself
while thoughts of me stroll through your head 
and I remember all the times we've had, times times and times again. 
Visions dance and touch as a gentle cool breeze. They brush your hair
Smoke leaves your mouth.
You tell me it's over, so we start another.
Fire burns the herb of comfort.
We draw closer because the wind is stronger
     than we would like.
This is life, we live because we can be happy while we last,
and while we do we can turn to one another for help.

SLEEP

Sleep is like the mistress
Who comes upon at night
She cuddles and caresses me
And keeps me in her sight

Sleep is like the woman
Who always keeps me warm
She holds me and comforts me
She protects me from the storm

Sleep is like a lady
My Andromadean dream
She comes to me with visions
Of things that she has seen

Sleep is like my love
Who holds me tight at night
She comforts me and abides me
She shows me unseen light

INTRINSICALLY TRAGIC

There's something intrinsically tragic about life 
that I can't shake
	And it's always been there
As if I was told in the womb
     "All life is suffering"
Don't ask me what's wrong
I don't quite have the words for it
It's like an underlying sadness
     even harder to explain
than it is to understand myself
Suicide would be simple enough
But I somehow doubt that God is any better
     than his horrible little creatures

PEN

I have many times sat down to write
and found that the words seem to
flow not from me,
but from the Pen
I wish it had a mouth with which 
it could speak
It might be able to sing

 

 

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